American Pie
Date viewed: July 17, 1999
Location: Chelsea Cinemas, Manhattan

I had heard this movie would be the gross-out comedy of the summer. It was going to be the "There's Something About Mary" of the year. Well, I hate to disappoint anyone, but it's not nearly as gross and not nearly as sweet, but it does have a kind of charm that is usually reserved for ugly puppies.

The movie is about four high school friends (although they are so different it's hard to believe they would even speak to each other, let alone discuss their personal lives) that make a pact to lose their virginity before they graduate. The cast is unknowns that are easy on the eyes and close enough to high-school age to be somewhat believable. (No Olivia Newton-John ala "Grease" here.)

One guy is sweet and normal. He and his girlfriend debate whether to have sex or not before they both leave for college. Gee, I wonder what ends up happening?

One guy is a jock that joins a jazz singing group to get close to his intended. I believe the most painful scenes I've endured this summer were those actors in choir practice. If they were lip synching, they needed to rehearse a lot longer and put some energy into it. If they were really singing, they should have hired actors that could sing and (maybe) act at the same time. My ears burned and my eyes nearly popped out of my head during those torturous scenes.

One guy is a loser genius that couldn't relate to people his own age.

The last guy is a goofy everyman that just wanted to get off. His encounter with the bakery good of the title seems a little far-fetched, but it makes for a good laugh.

For me, the best part of the movie was looking back at all the stereotypes of high school and realizing that I did fit somewhere in that mess. I can't say this movie will change the world or even give you a warm fuzzy for the good old days, but I did get a few laughs at the expense of common decency.

Listen to me: Keep your expectations very low and sense of humor pretty close to the gutter and you'll be just fine.

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