Defying Gravity

Date viewed: July 11, 1999

Location: Quad Cinema, Manhattan

It’s so much easier to write about a bad movie than a good one. It’s so much easier to be witty and funny when there are so many things to pick apart. So about the only good thing I can say about this movie is that it makes my job a piece of cake.

The movie is a small independent film about a fraternity guy named Griff. Griff has a best friend, Todd, and a boyfriend/lover, Pete. Pete used to live at the fraternity but has moved out. (I think we’re supposed to think that Pete realized his gayness and the macho attitude of the frat house didn’t mix too well.) Griff isn’t ready to give up his straight-boy mystique just yet and Pete wants a real relationship.

After a fight in gay coffee house (in West Hollywood--how chic) Griff lets Pete walk down a dark alley where Pete is attacked and beaten into a coma. The attack makes Griff re-evaluate his priorities and try to sort out his life. Best friend Todd is his Rock of Gibraltar. Black lesbian, Denetra, turns out to be an unlikely ally. There’s a 30-second shower scene in the frat house. That about sums it up.

OK, I’ll give them and A for effort and an F for finished product.

I’ll assume they were shooting on a shoestring budget and had to just accept the first take of every scene because they didn’t have the time or money to try anything again. The writing was laughable. My 6-year-old nephew has written e-mail letters to me that were more involved than this plot. The dialogue reminded me of my role as Old King Cole in my kindergarten nursery rhyme play.

Griff to Todd: “Imagine Heather was seated right next to you but you couldn’t touch her. That would really suck.” Shakespeare on acid, perhaps?

Although the actors were very attractive and believable as college-age students, I’m sure there were equally cute and equally age appropriate actors begging for roles that could really act! I was appalled at the wooden reading of lines. I delivered my line “Bring me my pipe. Bring me my bowl. Bring me my fiddlers three” with more meaning at age 5 than Griff emoted when he said “More sure than anything in my life” when asked if he was in love with Pete.

Although I support independent films, they need to have substance. They need to be well-written. They need to be watchable.

Listen to me: Sorry, I wanted to like it, but it really sucks.