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Episode Date: Friday, May 7, 1999 Who knew that Rick could sing? I hate it when things are thrown at
us with no background. I do recall Amber singing at Insomnia about a
year ago and for some bizarre reason she needed back-up. CJ played guitar
and Rick seemed to hum in the background. Fast forward 12 months and
Rick is now a composer,
May I ask when Amber developed a conscience? She keeps telling her mother she can't lie to Rick. Since when? She's been lying to him for well over the past nine months! Are we to believe the death of her baby turned her life around this much? Perhaps, but it seems very abrupt that she would suddenly be willing to end her marriage to Rick when she has such an available way to keep it holding together (for the time being anyway). Soap quiz: Seriously, how on earth did Amber think Brooke could have figured out the baby now residing in Stephanie's guest house isn't really a Forrester? Think about it, honey. And speaking of Brooke, am I only one that has noticed how often Kathrine Kelly Lang squints when she's angry? It's almost as if her contact lenses fog up when she's provoked and she has to close her eyes in order to see properly. Is Chinese food in Los Angeles really packaged in clear containers? I live in New York City and we still get our take out orders squashed into the traditional white paper cartons. It seemed very fancy for CJ to bring egg rolls in one of those clear containers. (And those egg rolls must have been stone cold since there was no steam on the inside of the plastic.) I especially liked CJ pinning the corsage on Kimberly's sweater set. By the end of their scenes, it was drooping pretty bad. Didn't someone from the wardrobe department want to fix that problem? I think placing the pin through her bra strap would have fixed it up nicely. Martha Stewart would have done no less. And speaking of sweater sets...how many does Kimberly own? I guess the new measure for virtuous, young women on soaps these days is the number of sweater sets they can wear in a week. I am such a Mr. Smartypants.
Episode Date: Monday, May 10, 1999 Big news. For the first time in well over a month we made it through an entire episode without Amber or Rick. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy each and every character and each and every story, but enough it enough. Give us a break. Today we also learned that the address of Spectra Fashions is 380 South Wyler Street. I can't tell you how much I love useless trivia like that. What made the producers decide it was time to give us this information? Why did they even feel the need to tell us? I don't live in Los Angeles and I really want to know if such an address exists or if they made it up for my pleasure and future trivia knowledge. That exterior shot was just a lead in for a conference in Sally's office
with Miss Spectra, Myles/Adam, CJ, Darla and Lauren (did we know that
Lauren still hung around Spectra?) Could they have found a more hideous floral arrangement? Blue carnations with silver tinsel? Please! What happened to Connie the maid? Why does Stephanie have to open her own door? And how did the delivery guy get to the front door? You'd think after Sheila just waltzed in those times Stephanie would invest in a security system. Of course Stephanie blew up when she learned Sally had sent the flowers. Stephanie hightailed it over to 380 South Wyler Street to dump the floral arrangement on Sally's office floor and start a cat fight. Meanwhile, CJ was bringing Myles/Adam up to date on all the horrible things Stephanie had done to Sally over the past 25 years. Thanks for recap, CJ. We also got to watch some painfully trite scenes with Brooke and Thorne. What the heck is going on there? Thorne learned of Brooke's suspicions of the paternity of Amber's baby. Brooke told us how furious she is that Stephanie didn't let Sally speak up at the wedding. "I feel like I could just kill her." That's what Brooke said. I've been watching soaps long enough to put that quote away in the memory bank and prepare for an attempt on Steph's life.
Episode Date: Tuesday, May 11, 1999 For the first time in God knows how long we got through an entire episode with not one glimpse of a teen aged cast member. I understand that story line is popular and the young actors are more cost-effective to employ and utilize, but I was sick and tired of Kimberly crying, Amber bawling, Rick looking perplexed and CJ÷well, I guess I was just tired of CJ in general (although I think he is the most realistic of the four of them.) We witnessed the beginning of a new storyline -- and not a moment to soon in my opinion. Myles/Adam interrupted Stephanie's tirade against Sally. He told La Forrester that he didn't want her bothering Sally again and he would make sure that she didn't. He also warned Steph to watch her back because Spectra fashions was going to offer some stiff competition. Sally pursed her lips a lot during the conversation. Damn, she's good at that. Meanwhile, big doings over at Forrester Creations. Eric, Ridge, Taylor and Clarke (Clarke? Is he still around?) had a big meeting with Trevor, the fund-raiser for a pediatric AIDS charity. He proposed and Eric accepted an offer for Forrester's latest fashion show to benefit the cause. The Bold and the Beautiful doesn't often deal with social issues. It's an extremely pleasant change of pace to hear the characters discussing real-world issues. Thumbs up, B&B. But what the heck was Taylor doing at the meeting? She isn't involved in business at all. Maybe she was filling in for Brooke who was in Genoa City to try and get the perfume for Brooke's Bedroom back on line. Maybe Taylor was there because she's a doctor and knows all about AIDS. Maybe we just needed our Hunter Tylo fix. That works for me.
Lauren slunk into Eric's office to warn him about Myles/Adam's newly formed vendetta against him. She is such a minx. I just love seeing her on my screen. But what on earth was she wearing? Did you see that backless camisole that laced across her lats? Costume department -- stat! Quote of the day: Myles/Adam to Stephanie "Go home and tell that ex-husband and two spoiled boys to get crackin'." Poetry, shear poetry.
Episode Date: Wednesday, May 12, 1999 What a way to start the show. Amber's back. Those poor kids only had a couple of days off. They are the hardest working teens in show business. At least they don't have to learn too many lines; they just keep saying the same things over and over. Tawny (I could really grow to love that woman) suggested Amber try to breast feed the baby. Amber reluctantly agreed but it just didn't happen. They even used the word "breast" twice -- shocking. Amber decided she wanted to tell the Rick the truth about the baby switcheroo. Tawny highly recommended she not come clean. because the truth would ruin her marriage.
Rick showed up in the middle of their conversation and sensed something was wrong. That Rick, you can't slip a thing by him, can you? Amber announces she has something important to tell him. Yeah, sure, you're going to tell him everything right now -- and that will be the end of that storyline. Amber will leave tomorrow, and Rick and Kimberly will live happily ever after. When pigs fly. Eric and Stephanie discussed the upcoming charity fashion show and how Myles/Adam may be trouble. We saw a sketch of Eric's idea to use three (count them, three) runways to handle all the haute couture they will be producing for the event. Such a visionary, that man. Sally told Myles/Adam she didn't need him to be her knight in shining armor. He told her he wanted to help her crush the Forresters and bring Spectra Fashions to the top of the rag trade. Sally gave a moving speech about all the dreams she used to have and how they were crushed when Myles/Adam left 25 years ago. Did I smell an Emmy nomination tape in that little scene? I think so, by golly. But then she had to go and remember how they used to get it on in the office with the door locked. Why did she have to bring that up? I don't need to imagine that. Luckily, Sally told Myles/Adam to forget about that nonsense because it wouldn't be happening again. Thank you, Mr. Bell.
Episode Date: Thursday, May 13, 1999 Brooke was such a busy girl today. First she had an inane conversation with Thorne about confronting Raymond about his affair with Amber. I find these scenes to be so tedious. Don't talk about it, Brooke, just do it. We did get another glimpse of what might be brewing, though. Thorne invited Brooke out to the beach for a cookout with him and Macy. Brooke commented that she hopes Macy knows how lucky she is. Oh girl, did you get a look at him? Of course she knows she's a lucky, lucky lady. Hmmm, is Brooke becoming smitten with Thorne? Only time will tell. Brooke then hightailed it over to Kimberly's house for the sole purpose of trying to get the poor teenager's hopes up again. Brooke believes that when Rick finds out that Amber was lying all along, he'll dump the conniver and run into Kimberly's waiting arms. Whatever. Just go and talk to Raymond, would you Brooke? Brooke finally did make to Raymond's hotel. Just before she arrived we were treated to Raymond's maid, Denise, cleaning his room. She was so sassy, listening to her headphones and jamming to Raymond's "latest single" while dusting away. Good help is so hard to find these days. Brooke arrived and demanded to know the truth about Raymond and Amber. CJ and Myles/Adam discussed Myles' /Adam's involvement in the running of Spectra Fashions. Yawn. Darla brought in the morning paper (could we please get a story line for this chick?) and Myles/Adam noticed the huge article about the Forrester benefit fashion show. Could this be the perfect chance to bring the Forresters to their knees? Could it? Could it? Amber was just getting ready to spill the baby beans to Rick when Tawny interrupted. She told Rick that Amber was upset because the baby didn't want to breast feed. Of course Amber, who was so determined to tell the truth for once, didn't stop her mother from lying. Rick was so understanding and told Amber how much he loves their son.
The best scene of the day was when Clark asked Sally how she got past security. She told him she "hummed a few bars of the Dance of the Seven Veils" and they were putty in her hands. I would have much rather watched that scene than witness Brooke and Kimberly discussing Rick's involvement with Amber for the 42nd time. That brings us to our Quote of the Day. Sally continued her tale of fooling security by saying "You'll find them watering my camel and my goats in the parking lot." That Sally, she is such a prankster.
Episode Date: Friday, May 14, 1999 It was a day full of nothing. So much wasted time - and on a Friday, no less. Kimberly and CJ were chatting at Insomnia. CJ can't believe that Kimberly is still holding out hope that Rick will leave Amber. Kimberly believes that Rick will dump Amber when he learns that she "shacked up" with Raymond. Yes, the writer's actually made the poor girl say "shacked up." The '70s just called, they want their dictionary back. I guess CJ evaporated because next thing you know, Rick wandered into Insomnia to study. Kimberly was by herself and got all dewy eyed when she saw him. She went over to talk with him and ÷ well÷ who knows. I lost interest. But wait a minute. What the heck is Rick doing at Insomnia? Shouldn't be home helping out with the baby? I think he should be changing diapers or heating formula or something. You've got responsibilities now, kid. Shape up. Once again Amber told her mom she couldn't pull off the baby farce. Once again Tawny told her it was her only choice. Once again I wished I didn't have to listen to this same conversation ever again. Sally was still in Clarke's office in her harem ensemble. Her Cleopatra eyeliner really enhanced her Arabian Caftan look. Sally told Clarke he could only reach the goals he wanted at Spectra. Forrester would never be anything more to him than a steady paycheck. And the problem with that would be÷÷÷ Brooke begged Raymond to tell her the truth about his affair with Amber. Raymond wouldn't let the cat out of the bag. His nasty fianc»e showed up and hustled him off to the airport, leaving Brooke alone in the room to talk to herself about the whole situation. By a stroke of pure luck, that wacky maid Denise returned to the room. She told Brooke how much she adored Raymond. She knew everything that went on in that hotel room. Like when that blond tramp spent the whole night with Raymond 10 months ago. She remembered the date perfectly because it was her birthday and she was hoping Raymond would party with her (as if!) Brooke lit up like Christmas tree and pulled a wedding photo of Amber and Rick from her wallet. Cleverly covering Rick's face with her well-manicured thumb, Brooke asked the hired help if that was the hussy that spent the night with Raymond. Why did Brook have a wedding photo in her wallet? She can't stand Amber.
I'm sure there are plenty of photos of Rick around that she could put
in her Gucci wallet. It makes no sense that she÷.. oh never mind.
I'm such a Mr. Smartypants. Episode Date: Monday, May 17, 1999 Oh, such a day full of excitement. Better yet, a day full of quotable lines. CJ dropped by the Guest House just as Tawny finished doing her nails (classy, real classy) to congratulate Amber on birthing Rick's baby, Amber expressed concern about Brooke snooping around Raymond. CJ told her not to worry. "You and Rick are solid," he told her. Solid? Please call Peaches and Herb. I think there's a gig for them at The Bold and the Beautiful. Kimberly told Rick she hoped Brooke discovered that Raymond slept with Amber. "I'm not trying to slam, Amber," she said. "Amber may be reckless and impulsive, but she's not two-faced," Rick replied. Yeah, whatever. Rick told Kimberly to forget about him. A single tear rolled down Kimberly's cheek. Was it planted or is she a contender to take away Brooke and Taylor's title of best crier on daytime television? Oh the control needed to train a tear like that. I'm in awe. Brooke showed the wedding photo of Amber and Rick to that crazy hotel maid Denise and insisted she identify Amber as the blond that spent the night with Raymond. Curiously, she didn't cover Rick's head with her thumb this time.Denise admitted that Amber was the slut that stayed all night in Raymond's room. Brooke then hightailed it over to the guest house and told Amber and Tawny what she found out. She knows that Amber escaped "the Hollywood Garden's Hotel, room 402, amidst empty champagne bottles and tangled sheets." She knows the room number and the state of the sheets. That is pretty impressive, if you ask me. Brooke told the Death Valley duo that she planned to call a "family meeting" to discuss her findings. I don't know about you, but I love those Forrester family meetings.
Sally said in order to "turn this workhorse into a thoroughbred," they will need a "corporate renaissance," "a million showstoppers," "a megablitz of publicity," "a million watt spotlight on us while we do it," and "an extravaganza." That Sally, she's never at a loss for words and they flow so trippingly off the tongue. You'd think she had someone feeding her such ridiculous lines, wouldn't you?
Episode Date: Tuesday, May 18, 1999 Today was the set-up for the Big Showdown between Amber and Brooke. CJ and Rick were hanging out at Insomnia, "cramming" for exams and calling each other "Dude." The are tragically hip. Rick told CJ that Brooke was only trying to protect him and there would be no use in asking her to back off her Raymond vendetta when Rick got a call from Brooke on his cell phone asking him to come to Stephanie's house for a (creepy organ music) "family meeting." Meanwhile Amber was daydreaming of that special night at the Caf» Ruse when Eric called her a lady. It's filler time. We had to watch an entire four-minute scene again. Amber was awakened from here reverie by Tawny toting a sassy green insta-matic. She had just snapped some cute photos of the baby. Amber freaked out (what else is new?) and stated she had ruined her own life by telling so many lies. Brooke then filled Stephanie and Eric in on her proof that Raymond slept with Amber. Brooke called her a "greedy, self-serving gold digger." That's a nice turn of a phrase, don't you think? Brooke plans on Rick and Amber getting an annulment because this is "the biggest con job anyone has ever tried to pull on this family." That's a pretty tall order, I'd say. Everyone has tried to get a piece of that Forrester money in the past and I'm sure there will be plenty more attempts in the future. Stephanie and Eric wanted to break the bad news to Rick gently, but Brooke insisted they just drop the bomb and get it over with. Stephanie insisted on having Amber present to defend herself. Steph called the guest house and told the chicks from Furnace Creek to high tail it over to the mansion. She was kind enough to send Connie over to watch the baby. I wasn't aware that Connie was still in Stephanie's employ. She never answers the door anymore. There aren't any dinner parties or cocktail events to cook for. What does Connie do all day -- water the endless succession of floral arrangements that decorate the living room? Rick arrived minutes before Amber and Tawny showed up.
Everyone sort of stood around and looked at one another because they
all knew they couldn't say anything until tomorrow's episode. Episode Date: Wednesday, May 19, 1999 Shake your groove thing. Shake your groove thing. Yeah. Yeah. CJ told Sally and Darla that Amber had been called to the (cue creepy organ music) Forrester family meeting. CJ is concerned that if Brooke has proof that Amber slept with Raymond her marriage to Rick will be over. Sally told her son that sitting around and worrying won't help his friends. He should go over to Insomnia to the party Macy is throwing for Kimberly. CJ didn't know about the party and left Sally's office like it was on fire. Sally feared that her son may be interested in Kimberly. That could be trouble since Kimberly isn't over Rick, she feared. Darla's hair was really dark. It used to be that bleached blond color. Today it was definitely auburn. It's a different look, Darla. Not sure it's the look for you, though. Let's live with it a little while -- shall we?
Anyway, Thorne and Macy were pleased with the turnout at the party. (We learned the party was to thank all of Insomnia's loyal patrons and to cheer up Kimberly.) I think all the partiers just showed up to see Thorne with his shirt unbuttoned to his navel. It was a pretty sight, but the '70s gold chains were a bit over the top. Kimberly arrived and was immediately surrounded by suspiciously mature looking high school "boys." Jed had been in her history class. His buddies, Kenny and Chuck from the football team all wanted to dance with her and argued about who was the most macho.
Oh yeah. It finally happened. Amber was cornered at the family meeting. She admitted to Rick that she had slept with Raymond the night before she slept with Rick, she hadn't known the baby's paternity and she went to Furnace Creek to have the baby so no one would know the father before she did. (She didn't get as far as telling him that the baby she's toting around isn't his.) Rick was pissed. Brooke told Amber she was going to have the marriage annulled and kick Amber and her low rent mother out of the family.
Episode Date: Thursday, May 20, 1999 I love the night life. I love to boogie on the disco round. Disco night at Insomnia continued in full swing. CJ and Kimberly shared a table, some coffee (isn't it awfully late to be chugging all that caffeine?) and memories of when they first met. CJ made it clear that he doesn't think of Kimberly as a sister (nudge, nudge, wink, wink.) Kimberly said she was happy to hear that. The two of them talked about Kimberly looking for other fish in the sea. Kimberly said she was afraid CJ was a shark. He claimed to be an angel fish. Isn't that cute? I thought I'd gag. Jed, the jock, returned after learning that CJ had tricked him into thinking Baywatch was being filmed next door. Kimberly chose to dance with CJ instead of Jed. CJ and Kimberly then executed a perfectly choreographed dance routine to "I Will Survive" as performed by disco has-been Gloria Gaynor. (Get it? First I was afraid. I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. Get it? Kimberly getting over Rick. Subtle, very subtle.) It was amazing how everyone cleared the dance floor when Kimberly and CJ started their totally unrehearsed, spontaneous, impromptu mating dance. It was especially thrilling to see CJ perform those Russian dancer squats.
It's hard to believe it took nearly 20 minutes to act all that out. I just condensed it into a couple of seconds. Just think how much extra time there would have been for more stirring disco choreography if I had written the show.
Episode Date: Friday, May 21, 1999
Will this 70's flashback never end? CJ and Kimberly performed a modified bunny hop around the Insomnia dance floor (which, incidentally, still bugs the heck out of me.) The duo decided to take a break and CJ told Kimberly she is a "wild woman." I guess the fact that this is the first time since last June she hasn't been wearing a sweater set might constitute the title of "Wild Woman." She and CJ performed yet another special dance and everyone cleared the floor to make way for the routine. Perhaps the extras were actually afraid CJ would drop Kimberly during a particularly difficult choreographic move and thought they would be safer at the edge of the set. Kimberly told CJ the evening was the most fun she had had in a long time and thanked him with a kiss on the cheek. Macy and Thorne spied the kiss and were just a little to excited about it. In fact, don't Macy and Thorne have anything better to do than watch teenagers make out during tired disco remixes? They've been just a little too interested in what those kids are doing if you ask me. Brooke gloated to Stephanie after the (cue creepy organ music) family meeting. Stephanie admitted she was wrong about Amber but is concerned about the baby's future. Brooke was troubled that she could not locate Rick but was glad to be "rid of that little slut for good." As instructed by Brooke, Amber started packing her bags. Amber told Tawny she was going to admit the truth that the baby is not hers and dramatically turned the wedding photo of her and Rick face down on the dresser (nice touch.) Stephanie visited the guest house and told Amber she had "never been more disappointed in a person in my whole life." Oh please, I could list any number of people that you've said the same thing about Stephanie. Get over your self-righteous self. Amber apologized to Stephanie for all the trouble she has caused and then told Steph she must admit the whole truth÷. but not until Monday's episode Meanwhile, Rick was being tested for HIV infection at a convenient all-night health clinic. I have to give credit to the show for addressing the issue of HIV, AIDS and the importance of safe sex, but the doctor had the worst bedside manner I have ever witnessed. Instead of comforting Rick and suggesting the advances in caring for HIV, and AIDS patients (in case he was infected), the doctor harped on the possibility of infection and lectured Rick on the necessity of protected sex. They also discussed that the even if Rick was HIV negative, the baby could be positive and should be tested. We also learned for a fact that Rick and Amber only had sex once. I had always wondered if they did the deed after they were married. I suppose not, since Rick specified that he had only had one partner and it had been only one time. Of course, in true soap opera tradition, the doctor showed up at the end of the episode with a blank face and Rick's test results. Rick had to stand there with a pained look on his face until Monday's episode.
Episode Date: Monday, May 24, 1999 Rick was standing all alone in the doctor's exam room holding a folder.... He told himself (since no one else was in the room) that these were his AIDS test results. He opened the folder and looked astonished. I just have to go off for a minute here. First of all, he was not given an AIDS test. He was given an HIV test. It must first be determined if one is HIV positive before AIDS is even a possibility. Second, where was the frickin' doctor? It is a difficult decision to get tested for the HIV virus. All facilities that offer such testing also offer mandatory counseling with the test. No reputable doctor would simply hand a patient a folder with test results and head off to the golf course. Besides, what training does Rick have that would enable him to read a medical chart? Please, writers, if you are trying to make a social statement (and I'm very proud that you are) get the facts right. Meanwhile at the guest house Amber attempted to tell Stephanie the truth about her baby's parentage. She didn't get it out (what a surprise) because Rick showed up and said he had to talk to Amber alone. Stephanie left and Tawny was banished to the "other room." Rick told Amber that he had been tested for HIV and was negative. Amber expressed her gratefulness to hear the news. Rick then gave her a lecture on the importance of safe sex. I suppose he was reading the free literature at the all night clinic while awaiting the results of his HIV test. Amber told Rick she had something important to tell him about the baby. Say it! Say it, Amber! But Rick interrupted her and told her their future was his decision and he had made it. Say it! Say it, Rick! Poor Tawny was about to burst a blood vessel while eavesdropping through the folding doors while Stephanie went back home and chit chatted with Eric and Ridge about the whole matter.
Episode Date: Tuesday, May 25, 1999 Brooke continued her phone-less search for Rick and was about to knock on Stephanie's door when she spied Rick and Amber through the window of the guest house. She was so pleased that Rick was dumping Amber that she headed down to the Forrester pool! (Isn't that where everyone goes when they are happy?) Ridge came down for a little moonlight skinny dipping. We were even treated to a fleeting shot of Ridge's naked buttocks as he glided across the pool. Woo Woo! Brooke was feeling mischievous and hid Ridge's towel. When he came out of the water, Brooke made him come to her to retrieve the towel. She was looking pretty happy as she ogled his manhood. They sat by the pool and discussed Rick's annulment from Amber after Ridge wrangled his manhood into a towel.
Macy scampered over to Thorne's place in a tiny bikini. She was all smiles until she spotted the champagne and two glasses. Thorne appeared in a new, square cut boxer swim suit that prominently featured his tanned and oily pecs and abs. Macy was jealous that Thorne had been entertaining. They quarreled. Macy said she didn't want to get hurt. Thorne said they had to take some chances. He told Macy he had been fantasizing about her. She whispered in his ear what she had been thinking about him. Schwing! They tumbled onto the chaise lounge for a little good lovin'. Rick told Amber that he could have handled the truth that she had slept with Raymond and he wouldn't have hated her for it. In fact, he still would have married her after the baby had been born and he was determined to be the father. Amber tried to tell Rick about their baby really dying, but Rick wouldn't let her get a word in edgewise. He said he was calling the shots now. He told her he decided that he wanted to stay married to her and raise their family. Amber again tried to tell Rick the truth about where the baby came from, but he was oohing and ahhing so much over Little Eric that she shutup. Amber expressed her concern that Rick was only interested in what was best for the baby. Rick kissed Amber to let her know that he more than cares for her. Tawny about spasmed into a coma as she spied this tender little scene from "the other room."
Episode Date: Wednesday, May 26, 1999 Brooke finally figured out how to use and telephone. She called Thorne to thank him for being such a good friend during her Amber trauma. Thorne was tired because he and Macy had been out on the deck getting it on until 3 a.m.! Too much information, Thorne. Brooke hung up and left to bring Rick back home. Macy showed up at Spectra with a "just got some" grin and a bag of donuts. Adam (I suppose that's the name he's using most of the time now) and Sally interrupted their search for a hot designer to gorge on the fried treats. They also inquired what made Macy so happy. Macy admitted she had been doing the big nasty with Thorne. Adam was furious and reminded Macy of all the heartache that Forrester boy had caused in her life. Macy told him to deal with it. Thorne showed up to take Macy to lunch. Adam was very, very rude to him. Macy told Adam to stay away from Thorne. Stephanie visited Taylor and asked the good doctor about the Amber situation. Taylor thought they should let Rick and Amber decide what was best for themselves. A shirtless Rick changed Little Eric's diaper. Doesn't everyone care for a new born wearing next to nothing? I suppose the Forrester boys do. Have you noticed all the male Forrester flesh we've seen this week? I certainly have. Rick told his "son" how cute he was right down to his (CLUE, CLUE, CLUE) birthmark on his butt (CLUE, CLUE, CLUE.) You can bet your bottom dollar that's going to come up in the next ten years sometime. Tawny told Amber that she could not allow the baby to be tested for HIV because blood was the only thing that could prove Little Eric was not Rick's child. The two schemers were getting ready to fry up some eggs for Rick when Brooke pranced through the door to pick up Rick. She demanded to know what the two of them were still doing in the guest house. Amber gleefully explained to her squinting mother-in-law that Rick had decided that she and he would stay married. "Have you two completely lost your minds?" Brooke asked. Rick entered the room and set his mother straight. Brooke insisted that Rick didn't love Amber. Rick squinted back at his mother. Brooke thought Amber and her mother had put Rick up to this. "It's got your footprints all over it." Brooke said to Tawny, "I can just imagine your background." Brooke pressed Rick to admit if he loved Amber with the same feelings he had for Kimberly. The four stared at one another wishing they could go ahead and say a few lines from tomorrow's episode.
Episode Date: Thursday, May 27, 1999 Brooke pressed Rick to tell her he loved Amber. Rick didn't exactly answer her question. He told Brooke that Amber is a Forrester and so is his baby. He wants them to be a family. Brooke went off on Amber, calling her every name in the book. Rick told his mother that no one is pulling his strings anymore. He is going to make is own decisions from now on. Brooke squinted at Amber and gave her a warning. Brooke is sure that there are more secrets and she intends to find out what those secrets might be. Sally and Adam discussed that they are still in need of a designer. Haven't they had this conversation a million times? Don't they live in Los Angeles? I'm sure it can't be all that hard to find a good designer in that town. Just put an ad in the paper and I'll bet they'd come running. CJ learned from Sally and Adam that Macy is getting it on with Thorne again. CJ cracked that he hopes they get it right this time since they have had so much practice. (I love lines like that.) CJ decided that he would try and convince Clarke to come back to Spectra and design. Macy and Thorne had a little nosh for lunch at the Caf» Ruse. Thorne told Macy that he had a plan to make Adam like him. As they chatted, a rather obese man bumped into Macy's chair. She got upset but was embarrassed when she saw how large he was. What was all that about? Rick told Tawny that it was time for her to take a hike. He and Amber have a family to build and they need to do it on their own. Tawny and Amber had a touching good bye. Tawny referred to Amber as "Diamond Eyes." She commented that Amber's eyes have always been her best feature? WHAT? If she called Amber Diamond Eyes when she was little, why did she not bring it up until she was leaving? Amber asked when she would see her mother again. "I don't know, sweetie, I'm not on contract." Tawny replied. Actually she didn't say that, but she easily could have. Tawny told Amber to "have your dream" as she picked up her ragtag suitcase and hit the road. Fade to an artsy shot of Amber through the wooden blinds of the guesthouse with a tear trickling down her cheek. Good, really good.
Episode Date: Friday, May 28, 1999 Sally and Adam read about the Forrester's fashion show to benefit the pediatric AIDS foundation. Adam called Sally "Red" again and told her he wants to horn in on the event. Trevor, the charity fund raiser, showed up because Adam had called him. Sally started her scam mode and told Trevor she had been working with Eric Forrester to make the fashion show a joint venture with Spectra Fashions. Trevor wasn't convinced that such a thing could be possible. Sally pulled a fast one and told Trevor that Clarke Garrison was going to be their head designer. Adam playfully chastised Sally for letting the "cat out of the bag" Sally giggled and meow-ed like a kitty. Yippee! The old Sally is back! To make sure Trevor didn't talk to Eric and to cement his decision to add them to the event, Adam gave the charity $50,000. I'm loving this a lot. Of course they've done the same story line twice before. That's OK. I love fashion shows. CJ visited Clarke and asked him to come back to Spectra and design the new collection. Clarke told CJ the whole thing was too risky. CJ called his father a coward. Clarke got ready to leave for a meeting and CJ uttered the classic line of the day. "I cannot believe you are blowing off your own son to go kiss the Forrester's butt." Would that be a collective Forrester butt or one Forrester butt in particular? CJ told Clarke that he hated him, and never wanted to see him again. Macy and Thorne continued their romantic lunch at the Caf» Ruse. Thorne slipped the waiter something and reminded the server of their plan. The waiter then offered their special oysters as an appetizer for the couple. Macy thought she'd rather have a salad, but Thorne insisted Macy eat some oysters. Macy thought he wanted her to eat the slimy seafood as an aphrodisiac, but insisted she didn't need anything to get her in the mood to do the big nasty with his hunkiness. As Macy ate each oyster Thorne kept talking to himself saying "This one. This will be the lucky oyster." Hmm whatever could be going on? But wait! Look over there - at the table behind Macy and Thorne. That large dude from yesterday is eating oysters too! Oh my goodness! I sure hope there hasn't been some sort of crazy mix up in the kitchen. Macy slid the last oyster down her pearly throat and ÷÷.. nothing in the shell. Just as Thorne was about to summon the guilty waiter the fat guy behind them started to choke! Thorne ran over and performed the Heimlich Maneuver on the obese gent. Thorne saved his life and a diamond ring flew out of the huge man's mouth and landed in a water glass. Thorne dropped the dude to the floor and retrieved the ring, wiped it off and asked Macy to marry him. Ew! That's just gross.
Episode Date: Monday, May 31, 1999 Macy looked puzzled as Thorne tried to put the saliva-soaked diamond ring on her finger. She stopped him and told him that now was not a good time for them to get married. She wanted to marry him (for the third time -- although they have technically had three weddings already, I bet that one where he was arrested for Ivana's murder before the ceremony was over didn't count as a marriage) but has to think about her fragile family and what this would do to them. Thorne threw some money on the table (to pay for lunch? to tip the accordion player? What?) and stomped off like the big baby he truly is.
CJ returned to Spectra and reported that Clarke had turned him down. CJ was devastated by his father's rejection and Sally tried to comfort him. Suddenly, Clarke showed up and announced that he would take Spectra up on their offer for one show only and then he would be a free agent. Sally and Adam agreed to all his demands. Sally got on the intercom and told Darla to bring her some file folders. CJ and Clarke hugged. Darla arrived with those file folders and looked dubious. Sally did a lot of heaving breathing, tossed her hair and rallied the troops with this rousing speech. "No, no, wait a minute. It is not like old times. It can't be like old times. It's got to be better. This has got to be the beginning of a brand new, better era for Spectra Fashions. OK? And with the kind of team we've got now it will be. With the genius of Clarke Garrison in design, with Adam Alexander's business know-how and his backing, and with me at the helm to handle all the publici-tay and razzle-dazzle, we can't miss. We are going to make fashion history." "Do you realize that this comeback is the greatest possibility for publicity in the history of the rag trade? I can't believe it. We can go right to the moon with this. Give me some room. Give me a platform. Give me a platform. I want to rant." "All right, I'm telling you we are under sail again. We are going to sail into that harbor under golden canvas with this magnificent Garrison collection and all of the competition, including the Forresters, are going to be splashing around in our wake looking for a way not to drown. But we are going to sail on. We're going to go right into the sunset -- the Good Ship Spectra with the underdog standard waving high and we are not going to stop. We are going to keep going until we go right to the top of the heap! Yes, team." I am confidant that someday high school juniors will be reciting that soliloquy instead of the tired old "to be or not to be÷" from Hamlet. It's poetry. It's beautiful. It's art.
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I will admit that I've been watching
soaps for over 20 years and have never seen the video concept used in
quite this way. I'll give them bonus points for originality. The production
values of the black-and-white music sequence were first-rate as well.
I'm just sorry that the whole thing was so incredibly hokey.
Brooke had to run of to The Young
and the Restless, I mean Genoa City, to save the fragrance deal with
Jabot Cosmetics. Yawn. Thorne gave her a pep talk about the trip that
had Brooke giggling like a schoolgirl. I couldn't find the fast forward
button on the remote soon enough. I did enjoy her giving Thorne the
"eye" when he left the room. And I don't think I imagined
it, she was definitely squinting at his butt.
Ridge asked Taylor into his office
after the meeting. Taylor was all hot and bothered and was expecting
a little afternoon delight. She promptly tossed her jacket aside, draped
herself on the couch and started purring and rubbing her legs together
like a cricket in heat. Ridge, usually Mr. Libido, doused her amorous
intentions like a cold shower by asking her if she'd like to work on
the charity project. She told him she'd rather be a homemaker. That's
nice honey, but you can't have much of a story line being a homemaker.
All you'll get to do is have one scene every other week pouring coffee
and discussing someone else's interesting plot line.
OK, we get it. You don't need to
have the same conversation 25 times. Amber's torn (although she didn't
have any trouble lying for the past 9 months) and her mom wants her
little girl to stay married to the rich life. Now move on.
The true treat of the day was Sally's
escapade of sneaking into Forrester Creations to visit Clarke! She disguised
herself as an Arabian something or another. She strolled into Clarke's
office with a black veil across her face and what appeared to be a black
garment bag for a caftan. Perhaps she whipped the costume together while
standing the halls of Forrester. She introduced herself as Princess
Zelda from Saudi Arabia. Clarke was too dense to figure out it was Sally.
I don't think there's a disguise in the world that would cover the fact
that Sally's wearing it. She's a pretty strong personality, that girl
is. Sally was there on a mission to make Clarke feel guilty that Spectra
is going down the tubes and there will be no legacy for their son.
Finally we were treated to a breathless
talk between Myles/Adam and Sally. We learn that Myles/Adam calls her
"Red." That's really cute, isn't it? Sally told M/A that Clarke
turned down her proposal to return to Spectra as a designer. "I
could sell bikinis in Antarctica," she said, but she needs a designer.
She feared she is destined to remain "Pirate Sally, Queen of the
knock-offs." Now that's a great nickname. It's much better than
"Red" if you ask me, but it takes a lot more time to say.
Macy
had transformed Insomnia into a Disco Palace complete with mirror
ball and a modular floor with lights under it? I know that I may
look at things a little too critically, but how on earth did she
have that floor installed? That is no small construction task, Macy.
It had to cost a pretty penny -- and all that for one cheesy party
with 12 guests? Did she rip out the floor since yesterday and have
a new one installed? Perhaps she discovered the space had been a
disco that closed in 1981. Maybe the special floor had been covered
with linoleum by the bookstore that moved in a year later. The bookstore
went out of business because of competition from those pesky superstores
(as recently portrayed in the blockbuster smash movie, You've Got
Mail starring Miss Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks) and turned into the coffeehouse
that Macy and Grant (may he rest in peace) purchased. I'm sure Macy
was scrubbing the floor yesterday afternoon and uncovered the dance
floor. That must be what happened.
Upon returning from a commercial
break, we witnessed Kimberly line dancing with the three jocks. It had
to be seen to be believed. That Kimberly can really bust a move. You
go, girl! CJ arrived and was horrified to see Kimberly tossing her hair
and getting down with the football team. He got rid of them in short
order by telling them Baywatch was filming next door. The idiots fell
for it and ran out to see buxom women in tiny red suits (or perhaps
buff guys in tiny Speedos, I hate to make generalizations.) CJ told
Kimberly she was just as pretty as those bodacious babes. Kimberly told
him not to talk about Rick. She was starting a new life without him
tonight.
Macy and Thorne were relegated to
discussing other character's story lines. Isn't that embarrassing? Thorne
told Macy that Rick and Amber's marriage may be over. Macy hoped that
Rick would stay out of Kimberly's life since she is just now starting
to get over him.
Turn the beat around. Love to hear percussion.
Brooke was busy looking for Rick
and showed up on Thorne's doorstep. Have you ever heard of a telephone
Brooke? But it was worth the trip when Thorne answered the door wearing
nothing but a tiny black Speedo and dripping with sea water. Brooke's
eyes danced with devilish glee at the sight. Whose wouldn't? Unfortunately
Thorne donned a robe and toasted Brooke's success of ridding the family
of Amber with champagne. Thorne told Brooke about seeing CJ hot for
Kimberly at disco night at Insomnia. He then proceeded to show Brooke
some of his hottest dance moves he learned in 1979 from Denny Terrio
on Dance Fever and twirled her into a dip. Brooke was giggling like
Minnie Mouse on helium. She got all hot and bothered and decided she
had to leave and look for Rick some more. What is that all about? Will
Brooke fall for Thorne? Did she look at him? You go, girl!
That Brooke is one lucky lady. In
one evening she got to see both the Forrester brothers naked (or at
least nearly so.)
Clarke had a heart-to-heart with
Stephanie and told her what CJ had asked him to do. Clarke asked Stephanie's
advice on child rearing. Good idea, Clarke. All her kids are in such
fine shape. I'd think twice before getting her help in parenting. Stephanie
told Clarke she believed you had to give your kids 100%. He needed to
decide how much CJ meant to him. Stephanie ended the conversation by
telling Clarke that he always had "a special place in my heart."
Where the heck did that come from? I'm not sure the two of them had
ever had a scene together before. How did he achieve a special place
in her heart? He must bring donuts into the office each morning.